Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. -Anon

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.  
-Woody Allen

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!  
-George Burns

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got. -Sophia Loren

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. -Bette Midler

Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse. He will go to any length for it-risk fortune, character, reputation, life itself. -Mark Twain

Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie. -Mae West

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For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. -Judy Garland

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get--only with what you are expecting to give--which is everything. -Katharine Hepburn

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."

Love Quotes...

When I have to choose between two evils, I always try to pick the one I haven't tried before. -Mae West

I'm a romantic; a sentimental person thinks things will last; a romantic person hopes against hope that they won't. -F. Scott Fitzgerald

When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. -Oscar Wilde

"Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker" -Anonymous

The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love. -Pearl Bailey

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. -James Baldwin

The best proof of love is trust. -Joyce Brothers

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. -Rita Rudner

I'm now making a Jewish porno film. 10% sex, 90% guilt. — Henny Youngman

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me. — Garry Shandling

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? — Lily Tomlin

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. — Joan Rivers

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. — Chelsea Handler

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there.— George Burns

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. — Groucho Marx

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. — Woody Allen

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.— Richard Pryor

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. — Chris Rock

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. — Billy Crystal

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

— Bill Maher

We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else for us to find. — Author Unknown

Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look. — Author Unknown

The bravest thing that men do is love women — Mort Sahl

If we judge of love by its usual effects, it resembles hatred more than friendship. — Francois VI Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. — Groucho Marx

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. — Christopher Marlowe

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. — Cher

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. — Groucho Marx

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times. — Rita Rudner

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. — Jennifer Aniston

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. — Henry Youngman

The best husband in the world is an archaeologist because the more his wife get older the more he get interested. — Author Unknown

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. — Mae West

No, this trick wont work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? — Albert Einstein